Ruben, Ruben, Ruben.

Where's the "forehead slap" smilie when I need it?

Ruben Patterson, in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, said this:

I'm here to help this team and help these guys get better defensively, and we can be a lockup team.

He wants a lockup team? Why not sign Billy Ray Bates? Roy Tarpley? Allen Iverson? "Little" Eddie Johnson? How about "Prison Jordan," a.k.a. Ron Paul?