I’ve Been Called Out!

And deservedly so. Casey Holdahl, OregonLive’s Pseudo-Eric, has called me out for not posting an entry to my blog for almost a month. I am fully aware of the fact that excuses are like certain orifices in that everyone has one and all of them stink, so take this for what it’s worth: I’ve been busier than a bartender at a Kennedy family reunion over the last month. I was promoted to Sales Manager, so in addition to learning the ropes in sales, I’m also training my replacement Purchasing Agent. BTW, Casey, the invite to a Blazer game still stands. Just shoot me an e-mail. Okay, enough whining, and enough about me. Let’s get down to business.

Martell Webster’s back has me a little worried, but I think that the decision to pull him off the road trip to rest and treat his injury was a very good one. Like LaMarcus, any chemistry-building or conditioning time lost during rehabilitation will be far outweighed by the opportunity to come back fully healed and raring to go.

I don’t know who came up with the idea of back-to-back-to-back games in the NBA preseason, but they should be stripped naked, bound, hooded, and photographed with an unattractive female soldier smiling and pointing to their genitals.

I absolutely love the fact that the net microphones pick up Zendon Hamilton giving a war whoop every time he’s going strong to the hoop for a shot or a rebound. If that doesn’t win over skeptical fans, nothing will.

I am very disappointed thus far with the performance of Jamaal Magloire. I had hoped that he would take some of the burden off of Joel, and help make Zach obsolete. From what I’ve seen, he’s an aggregation of current and former Blazers: He runs like Arvydas Sabonis, shoots from outside four feet like Ha Seung Jin, has mood swings on and off the court as extreme as Rasheed Wallace, knows his place in the offense like Travis Outlaw on opening day of last season, passes like Chris Dudley, and fouls like Joel Przybilla being picked on by the referees. He seems to be putting forth the effort, I just haven’t seen much in the way of results. I still think the best line I’ve heard describing him is

“Every time I see Magloire do something well, it’s Zendon Hamilton.”

I really wish I could remember who said that, so I could give them proper credit.

Edit: I was just reminded of who said it, and he prefers to remain relatively anonymous. In other words, I don't think he wants his relatives to find out that he's the one who said it.

Ime Udoka is gold. He takes some of the sting out of losing Veektor on draft day. He’s a smart player who hustles and contributes in ways that don’t always show up in the stat columns. I think Ime may have found an ideal situation playing for Nate McMillan, where his assets will be at once appreciated, rewarded, and maximized.

Darius Miles is iron pyrite. Paxson said yesterday that Darius “has arthritis in both knees.” I don’t wish pain and suffering on anyone, but objectively speaking, that would be the best possible outcome for all parties except Darius’ insurance company. If Darius is medically retired, then the Blazers will be able to write off his contract a year or two sooner, and we could send him home to get his (tax-free) checks every month from the insurance company and remove his potentially poisonous presence from the team. Pardon me, I need a moment... I’m all verklempt... Towak amongst yoahselves…

I don’t know enough about Graham to comment too much, but let’s just say my interest is piqued. Is he a body to bang the kids around with for the remainder of the pre-season? Is he a cheap replacement to fill Darius’ soon-to-be-vacated roster spot? A sign that Zendon Hamilton will not be on the roster come regular season? A possible trade chip? We’ll have to wait and see…

My first thought when I noticed that Joel hasn’t been a shot-blocking machine this pre-season was “Oh, crap, is he not healthy? What’s he doing wrong?” Then it was brought to my attention that he doesn’t need to go after the blocked shot nearly as often this year because we actually have players playing perimeter defense. From the sound of things, the only toreador we have left is Juan Dixon. Pardon me again. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry…

Will Brandon Roy get the ROY nod over guys like Adam Morrison, who are likely to make a big splash in the national media with big scoring numbers, while at the same time playing no defense? Roy is already making a huge difference in the chemistry of this team, even when he’s not filling the stat columns. All the +/- numbers I’ve seen point to Roy being the real difference-maker on this team, not Zach.

Speaking of Zach, I want him off this team. With a little luck, and if all our youngsters perform above reasonable expectations, Zach could be a dark horse candidate for the All-Star team. I certainly hope he does, because that would make him much more valuable in a trade during the next off-season. Zach with an All-Star game on his resume might be just the ticket to getting multiple top ten picks in next year’s projected monster draft. Insert “crossed fingers” smilie here.

Dixon is starting the season off well, let’s hope coming off the bench doesn’t bring out the bricklayer in him like it did last year.

Dickau and Rodriguez are going to be fun to watch, Danny because he’s an aggressive spark plug, and Sergio because he’s Sebastian Telfair in elevator shoes with a more consistent jump shot and better control.

I was listening to the Utah game on KXL in my truck, and being down here in the Mid-Valley, the reception started to fade in and out. Much to my surprise, I started to pick up the broadcast of the game from Utah. It was a little surreal, hearing both announcers calling the same game from two different points of view on the same frequency. Brian Wheeler is much, much better than Utah’s radio play-by-play guy. In fact, I think Portland fans have been spoiled over the years by having three of the top dozen or so basketball announcers of all time in Bill Schonley, Eddie Doucette, and Brian Wheeler. Utah’s guy makes Antonio Harvey sound like Vin Scully.

Speaking of Antonio Harvey, I had to cringe when he started singing “Ch-ch-ch-cheatah!” during the game last night. Coach, you’ve shown vast improvement over the last year, but you’ve still got a ways to go. Please, I’m begging you, don’t sing during the broadcast anymore.